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Disappointment: Getting Over It

Disappointment: Getting Over It

We have all faced disappointment in our lives. Perhaps we didn’t get the college of our choice, the promotion or date of our dreams, the test results we wanted or the reaction we hoped for.

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Unfortunately the job search can be rife with them. It doesn’t make it any easier especially if your hopes were raised throughout the process.

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Whether you have been passed over, piped at the post or out performed by the competition, rejection is a difficult pill to swallow.

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It can make you feel sick to your stomach, hollowed out, fearful, vulnerable even paranoid. It can affect your health, disrupting sleep cycles and changing appetites.

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Whatever the circumstances, no matter how extreme, you need to handle it.

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Getting hung up will only ever hurt you even more. Even as a victim of a gross injustice letting go is the only way to get to where you need to be and that’s tough.

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We know we have all been there. Use your past disappointments to help you through your current ones. Looking back it doesn’t hurt as much now as it did then and this helps us to remember that time will always bring change.

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Each individual has their only way of dealing with disappointment, but here are some of the key areas to look at if you’re looking for practical pointers:

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  • Don’t pretend you don’t care. Give yourself initially some time to re-group and register what exactly it is that upsets you. What was it about the role / opportunity that appealed so much? Sometimes we only recognise something or someone’s value when they are no longer available.  If you can’t pinpoint particulars maybe it wasn’t the role for you in the first place and therefore a lucky escape.
  • Decide what you need to take on board. Just because you didn’t get the job, promotion or interview doesn’t mean they are right. Most things in life are subjective, opinions differ. Evaluate any criticism you receive anything of use to you keep, dump the rest.
  • Choose who to share with. Discuss with someone you trust and not part of the recruitment process itself. Also limited that number, sharing publicly may prolong your time to recover as people continually enquire how you are or react in an unexpected ways causing more unsettled feelings.
  • Give yourself a break and some much needed TLC.
  • Get back to routine. Even if you don’t feel like it. Use everyday life and distractions to give you an emotional break. Thinking things over continually will just drain you and sap you of the energy you will need to ultimately move on.

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I have embedded my favourite Simpson’s sketch on the The Kübler-Ross 5 stages of grief model below. It’s not meant to belittle how you are feeling if you are suffering at the moment, but it may just distract you or bring you a smile.

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Sarah Cooper has over 14 years Recruitment experience gained in both an internal and agency environment. As one of the founding Directors of McGinnis Loy Ltd, specialist Finance and HR Recruiters, she is still actively recruiting in the marketplace today. Follow her tweets @approachmarket

 

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